First, King Lemuel is mentioned nowhere else in scripture. However, Strong's Concordance points our that Lemuel is a Hebrew word that is related to words that mean "belonging to God" and is a symbolic name of Solomon. Further, Jewish legend identifies him as Solomon, taking advise from his mother Bathsheba, though there is no clear evidence for this. Solomon is the author of the book of Proverbs, and it seems to me that both parts of this 31st chapter should be included as one. Verses 1 to 9 are not separated from verses 10 through 31. They all become a description of God's intended rolls for men and women.
Let me deal with a couple of side issues, though sometimes prominent, that can get in the way. If Lemuel is identified as Solomon, which seems likely to me, Solomon is said to have had many wives and concubines. Also, Solomon's mother was Bathsheba who was a married woman take in adultery by Solomon's father, David after he murdered Bathsheba's husband. Quite a mess, and not one out of which we would expect any good and Godly advice. It is important to understand that these things happened with God continuing to use people involved does not indicate our Lord's approval for their life's choices, They were clearly sinful. David recognized this and repented. This is the context of David's Psalm 51 as he cries out to the Lord for mercy. Further, Solomon's love poem in the book Song of Songs, or Song of Solomon, speaks to one particular woman, the Shulammite, to whom he is devoted. This love poem has also been taken as Christ's love for the Church.
There is great hope for us in this. For all have sinned
an fall sort of the Glory of God as St. Paul says in Romans Chapter three ....
21 But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, 22 even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all [f]and on all who believe. For there is no difference; 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed, 26 to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. (NKJV) In their repentance God was able to continue using them to do His will, and they ultimately became forbearers of our Lord Jesus.
Ah! But now let me get back to the Proverbs 31 advice. Of this wise and energetic woman it says that "Her husband is known in the gates as he sits among the elders of the land."(vs.23) He seems to be having a good time with his friends while his wife does all the works! But the gates of the city were a place of leadership, protection, and order. This was his task. He was not just sharing a drink with his buddies. This is what the King's mother cautions him about in verses 3 to 5. His heart and all of his strength is given to being sure that his wife and family was properly guided, protected, and free to carry on her duties. His love is always with her. (vs.28)
Look at all she is doing! Verse 10 begins with a commendation; "an excellent wife.... her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trust her. She does him good... all the days of her life."(vss.10-12) Then her activities: she seek out materials to work with her hands; she brings her food from afar providing for her household and those under her; she is able to judge values and purchase property to plant a vineyard; she is wise, strong and generous; and has a sense of security. She is a lovely woman and along with all her attributes strength and dignity are her clothing. Her speech is wise and she oversee all that is involved with her household. This is a tremendous commendation for the abilities of a godly woman. There is no lack of dignity, ability or beauty in this description of a woman. There is nothing lacking that a woman's liberation movement could add. The only distinction is that her life and her joy is established for the good of her husband, her children, her household and the community around her. She isn't seeking to make a name for herself but to honor the Lord in all she does.
In Genesis chapter one God created the man and the woman. He established the monogamous marriage bond, essentiality creating the home and family. That is the natural structure intended for our life and growth on earth. [That doesn't mean that a life of singleness is wrong either for a man or woman, but that is a whole other topic.] The point here that is carried through both Testaments is that of proper order. This gets to the terms the modern world has confused and rejected, headship and submission. But this also is part of the image of God given to man and woman in their creation. There is headship and submission within the Holy Trinity. We confess for example, in the Apostle's Creed that the "Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and Son and with the Father and Son is worshipped and glorified". Further, Jesus is clear about His relationship with the Father explaining to the Jewish leaders in John 5:19 and following that He only does what He sees the Father doing. The Holy Trinity is truly one, co-equal, and co-eternal. The three are one true God, but the principle of headship and submission still function among them. There is no sense of one being more important than the others, or more value or dignity than the others. So it is intended to be reflected in marriage.
So, while there are far fewer verses about the man's virtues in Proverbs 31 his task is established and important. I wrote earlier that his sitting with the elders in the gates of the city was a place of leadership, protection, and order. I would also include something I consider of utmost importance, as it has always been but is especially in our times. That is of solid Biblical values and understanding. The man is responsible for sharing God's truth and correction with his family. This principle is supported throughout scripture. It is why God first gave the command not to eat of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil to Adam who later conveyed it to Eve. What this means is that the Father is responsible for studying scripture, praying for his family, and deepening his own relationship with his Heavenly Father, to whom he is called to submit.
This Biblical order for man, woman, and family is the best and most joy-filled plan for living. It is difficult! Keep in mind the rebellion of our first parents which we inherited and are all by nature sinful and unclean. Too often we act and react out of that nature. We are also ignorant of the full satisfaction that our proper place can bring. Thus, we are called to repent before God, depending on the cleansing blood of our Saviour, Jesus the Christ. We should also, when needed, be willing to humble ourselves before our mate or children asking their forgiveness. It is in this that we can grow more firmly as one in the image of God.
I am old, which allows me the perspective of many years. Also, my share of failures needing to ask forgiveness and to forgive. But I wanted to share what I've seen in my family and church congregation. Particularly about the Proverbs 31 woman.
First, let me mention the names of Mildred who gave me a solid start while providing a portion of the family income and caring for an Alzheimers stricken husband for the last 15 years of his life, and Ruth who gave me my dear wife after raising her three other children, getting her college degrees, and supporting herself and family, all after her husband was killed on duty with the Baltimore City police force. I will go on to name Audrey, Helen, Janice, Jeane, Carolyn, Jan, Meryl, Carol, Jane, and I apologize if my memory has failed to bring up any others. These are strong capable women who are the back bone of our fellowship. They are spiritually grounded prayer warriors. They have already given a start to the next generation of Proverbs 31 women who have take their place in the fellowship. And they are praying for the third and fourth generations of their offspring. To these could be added dozens upon dozens of other women in our larger church body and the churches we are affiliated with. There is nothing that women's liberation could add to them.
While the scriptural order of headship and submission is essential we never indicate that one is greater or lesser than the other. Nothing is demeaning or of lesser value in God's order. All is of God's perfect plan. It is our part to continually seek and find.
“Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” (Prov. 31:29 - NKJV)
